Why we have the power to choose the stories we tell ourselves.
This week I’m continuing to write about the theme of how we get in our own way and so hold ourselves back from achieving our goals.
One of the ways we do that is to allow (what we perceive as) our weaknesses to stop us from doing certain things.
For example, I’m a naturally shy person and don’t tend to enjoy being the centre of attention. For years, I thought that those traits meant I wasn’t supposed to be a leader and I was often reluctant about voicing my opinions publicly.
Over time I’ve come to realise that there isn’t one type of leader, that leadership takes many forms, and that – most importantly of all - by being my authentic self, I can be an effective and powerful leader, in my own unique way.
I wrote a few months ago about my friend James, who, years ago, had been involved in an almost-fatal car crash. To James, the scarring he was left with after surgery is like the powdered gold in a Kintsugi* pot. It is an imperfection, but it’s also a gift to be treasured because it is part of him.
*Kintsugi is a Japanese art in which broken pottery is repaired by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum*
For me, I’ve embraced my natural shyness, turning it from (what I thought was) a weakness into a strength. I’m comfortable in my own skin and it feels incredibly liberating. I can now lead authentically and confidently, without putting on a false persona or trying to be someone else.
We have the power to choose the stories we tell ourselves. James chose to tell himself that the crash was a good thing, because it made him re-evaluate his life to that point and reminded him that life is precious and should not be taken for granted.
When thinking about our supposed weaknesses, what if, instead, we take the kintsugi approach?
What if we see them as parts of us that are to be treasured?
Image credit: Em and Friends
For me, the key word is authenticity. If we can embrace our flaws and show up in an authentic way, then those flaws will no longer hold us back.