You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda
Joseph Campbell, in his 1949 book The Hero With a Thousand Faces, discusses his theory of the mythological structure of the journey of the archetypal hero found in world myths. Campbell’s work has been hugely influential, not least in the shape of the Star Wars films, for which he acted as a consultant to their creator, George Lucas.
Although the mythical hero’s journey is usually a fantastical tale, it is at heart an introspective and inward-looking adventure, and for those of us on our own personal or professional journeys, one from which we can learn. Aided by a guide (or guides - in the case of Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi and, later, Yoda), the hero learns new things about himself or herself and discovers hidden strengths that were dormant within them the entire time, enabling a personal transformation that allows the hero to win the day. In other words, the story tells us who we are, who we can be, and what we can achieve if we embrace the journey.
Doing it Alone
In contrast to the hero’s journey, in which the hero is accompanied by a guide or guides, it’s ingrained in us from our early school years that we have to do it alone. Think about homework (if you can remember that far back!) Asking a friend to help with homework is called cheating. In university or college, getting assistance for an essay or project or thesis is prohibited. The consequences of cheating are often draconian.
This attitude pervades in the business world too. Seeking help is seen as weakness (“I should be able to do all this myself.”) It’s almost become a badge of pride to work incredible hours to try and satisfy the business’ relentless demands, without asking for the required assistance. For many business owners, there is no outlet. There is no-one in whom to confide (often not even their spouses or partners). Worries about cashflow, personnel issues or whatever else it may be (even that they’re not actually enjoying it any more) come home with them at the end of the day.
The Fall-Out
Let’s stop to think about it. How productive will an owner be who tries to do it all by himself or herself? And even more importantly, what are the consequences of trying to do so? “I wish I could spend more time working on the business, not in the business” is a familiar refrain. There are often significant knock-on effects to work-life balance: working too many hours at the expense of friends or family; stress; exhaustion; ill health.
What Are You Tolerating?
One of the most powerful questions I sometimes ask my clients is this: what are you tolerating in your life right now? Life is too short and too precious to spend time on tasks, activities or even people that distract us from doing what we love doing.
Unfortunately, life is so busy, so intense, that we don’t give ourselves the time and space to ask the important questions. Actually, it’s often only with the help of an outside influence (such as a guide) that those questions are asked - and we give ourselves the time and space, not only to answer the questions, but to begin to make the changes we very much need.
I will leave you with that question – what are you tolerating?
Until next time,
Julian